
Reflections

Where' s My List?!
Happy New Year! So, are we rested and ready to begin a new chapter or are we still trying to coax our motivation out of bed? If you're anything like me, resolutions are wonderful until January 1 when you should actually DO something about them. The first couple weeks aren’t so bad. The next couple weeks you're back into the daily grind, time leaves your side and discouragement steps in. Soon after, frustration takes up residence with abandonment close behind.
So, what happened? It all sounded so good! The list looked so "do-able" in December. For starters, "list" is an issue. Maybe we were a little overzealous and that list of 10 items was a bit much. Or again, if you are like me, you could be an extremist (if I can't do it all 100%, then what's the point of doing it at all?) I have a lovely man at home who reminds me of this almost daily! Once I got past being insulted by the mere suggestion of such a thing, my list went from numbers 1-10 to just 1. I decided on one thing and committed to it for one day. When that day was over, and I felt good about my "accomplishment" I made my list for the next day until a month had passed. I was feeling better and not so stressed. A radically new idea took hold and said, 'it's OK that you weren't perfect today, we'll try again tomorrow'. AMAZING! I was raised with the understanding second best wasn't good enough. My interpretation of that was "you must be perfect". So, my type A personality flourished, and I drove myself (and sometimes those around me) utterly crazy in my relentless pursuit of perfection. When everything fell into place with my idea of perfection realized, I was ecstatic but when I fell short, the misery ran painfully deep. (Can you file criminal charges against yourself for battery?)
As I get older (and SLOWLY wiser) it occurs to me that I failed to read the fine print in the perfection directions which stated that:
1). Falling short of your goal is OK provided you've put forth your best effort and that you're willing to pick up where you left off and try again.
2). Having a pity party is also OK as long as it lasts from the time you crawl into bed at night until the time you go to sleep and that all party-goers are gone in the morning!
So, as you begin those new routines, advance to a higher level or begin to learn a new dance, remember to stand tall and carry a short list!
Originally published January/February 2008 edition of Dance Notes